Monday, December 1, 2008

Mary, Big Baby Jesus, and Joseph T. Deters

For certain Joe Deters is on my Christmas list. I want to get him something that he’ll remember. Here’s the top 11 presents that I’m considering getting him. 1. A membership to the Cincinnati chapter of the NAACP 2. Something Blue (maybe a blue tie since he’s partly responsible for flipping Hamilton County from red to blue. 3. A massage service that I’ll purchase from one of those City Beat ads. 4. A Jurassic Park toy figure--since he’s afraid to go into OTR because some parts remind him of Jurassic Park the movie. 5. Speaking of movies--I might get him a copy of that old school movie the Graduate starring Dustin Hoffman. You know the movie in which Dustin Hoffman is banging his mother-in-law. 6. A Greek Gyro since he is a DemiGod and is best buds with that Greek God Alex Tryingtofoolya. 7. A bandage wrap since he loves to go into car dealerships and throw hissy fits and bang on cars with his hand, and end up in the emergency room. 8. A bucket full of mail and perhaps flood his email….since everybody keeps sending me anonymous mail and emails as if I was Ms. Santa Claus, and could work a miracle and make Joe-the-Prosecutor go away. Folks keep the mail and emails coming…I’ll figure out a way to get Joey D to step down. 9. A copy of the Hospital and Asylum report starring Joe Deters. Folks you gotta Google the words Hospital, Asylum and Joe Deters. Big laughs for sure. 10. A radio in case Cincinnati has another storm and the power goes out. Wouldn’t want Joe to miss his favorite radio Program from Cincinnati’s Best loved Republican clown Bill C. 11. Finally a replica of Big, Baby, Jesus--the Dead Rap star also known as ODB (Old Dirty Bastard) This list is a work-in-progress. Please forward me suggestions as to what I should get Joseph T. Deters. Thanks. Happy Holidays. Happy Shopping.